It's been far too long since I was able to put anything down on paper as it were. I've been trying to figure out what is wrong for a long time. I figured that I was just being lazy. That's a nice and simple explanation, but I don't think it really covers it. I was talking with my friend, Dexiom,
, on Steam and he said something that struck me.
He said that I was a good writer.
At my most arrogant, I'll probably say that I'm competent at writing, but I never saw myself as being actually good. That was when I realized that I was just scared. Let me explain.
My latest and final, part of the Trials and Tribulations arc of my AppleShy Series is practically finished. The issue I have is getting a big fight scene right. Now, the practical thing, in my opinion, is to get it done and hand it over to a pre-reader for some input.
That's the part that's keeping me from finishing it. What if they tell me it's absolute trash? What if the changes they offer pretty much calls for a complete rewrite of the chapter?
I would think about these potential responses and cower in terror. The thought of failing so miserably brought me to such a stall that I couldn't do anything.
At first, I thought that as long as I kept my writing on the screen with no one else seeing it I would be fine. The problem was that when I would write, my own inner critic would start hacking away. I found myself thinking that if I keep the stories in my head, in an ethereal state, I would be perfectly safe from the harshness of criticism. And here we are.
I'm am sick of doing nothing. I'm still scared of being told that I suck harder than a black hole, but right now I need to get my writing out there. Writing is the only thing that I feel I can do with even the tiniest bit of competence, and I have to look at the potential criticism and learn from it. If I get a response that says that what I write is garbage, I have to ask what it was that made them feel that way. The reader and the critic are not my enemy. They are my audience, and they deserve my respect. Respect that I have denied them. For that, I am sincerely sorry.
I will be posting new short stories along with updates to my MLP series. These short stories will not all be MLP related since I think I might have accidentally painted myself into a corner. I could be wrong but I'll never know until I throw out some, shudder, original work.
Moving on to my stories.AppleShy Series
This section will be rather short since I know the solution for Storming the Mansion. This will be the final part of Trials and Tribulations. The biggest concern I have is the time between updates. Instead of making everyone wait for a part, I decided to not post anything until I have the entire arc written. This will also help me ensure that the entire arc flows properly. For the time being, the next arc's title is "Trial of the Moment".PinkieShy Series
This one is more of an issue. I love this series, but it's taken such a darker turn than I intended. I wanted this to be essentially the opposite of AppleShy. A cute, fun, and fluffy series about to adorable ponies in love. That isn't what I wrote.
I have two options. First, I press on. Continue the series as is and see how things turn out.
Option two, I scrap everything from Start Spreading the Word onward. With this option, I'll have Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie reveal their new relationship to the other ponies one by one. This will help me keep the mood as light as I need it to be. There is always room for serious moments. I really enjoy Applejack's concern about Pinkie taking a romantic relationship seriously, and I could use that as the serious issue for the two. Or not. I could send them on an adventure together and have fun with that.
On this topic, I would really like your thoughts since both options are viable to me.
The interesting positive of the second option is that I can still use the ruins story. It'll be very dark, and I have a lot of ideas for it. Most of them are bad, but that's part of the fun.
And that's my post birthday update. All is well, and I'm determined to get this writing done. Tonight I'll post a flash fiction to get the wheels going. Fair warning, it won't be ponies.
Stay awesome everyone!